lemon cake

"Healing starts from within."

the above words sound so familiar, so often said and heard, something we assume we already understand

but how many really do? Today, I lay sleepy-eyed in my morning trance, but jumped out of bed into a peace-making debate (while holding onto my stuffed animal for comfort, what an adult-child, yes I know).

As we tried to talk, we were just so tired and lost for words at how these person(s) were trying to "heal" and solve issues. I'm so tired of seeing the persons I have always loved and respected, piss on each other and do petty things and suffer.

Avoidance is not how you heal. Sure, you don't force yourself into the bad situation on purpose and torture yourself into numbness, but avoidance by forcing others to change/bend is NOT healing.

Healing starts from within yourself. Please, please understand this.

Instead of saying "I need this thing to disappear so that I can heal", it's better to go "I'll do this instead so that I can heal".

Healing starts with you:

changing how you see things

changing how you react to things

changing how you think of things

knowing who to lean on

knowing who NOT to lean on

etc, etc...

You'll be hurting when you're facing the bad/traumatic situation, but it should eventually end with you feeling nonchalant (or filled with less negativity) when you face the same bad situation in the future.

I think Taylor Swift's song, "I Forgot That You Existed", is really really apt for this.

You should feel like a weight has been lifted off you, like "oh, this thing doesn't actually bother me anymore!"

"Out of sight, out of mind." This is dangerous.

Once the bad situation is suddenly in sight again, you might feel crushed under the weight of negativity and crash once more. That would be terrible.

I'm not speaking for everyone's case; I'm merely putting my own day and experience into words for my own reflection and relief.

Here's some pictures from the later part of today \^w^/

1. Yellow Wattle flower embroidery and Lavender embroidery, ready for charity pouch making!

2. Cute baby plants growing out from my Spider plant

3. Watched ASMR baking videos; might whip up a lemon cake tomorrow hmmm